"Easy"

Sometimes I think that our coaches speak a different language. However, over the past few months, I have been able to become a professional CF Speak to Normal Person translator. 

For example, this morning the workout was supposed to be 50 x Man Makers. Man Makers are horrible, horrible things that make you wonder why (WHY!?!?) you thought CrossFit was a good idea.

JDP said, "Easy workout, guys, easy workout!" 

Translation: "I hope you want to be a worthless pile of goo the rest of the day, because today's workout is going to SUCK!"

Then, if that wasn't horrible enough, we did 400 meter sprints. Well, 400 meter "sprints" - the 35 Man Makers I managed to finish  in the allotted time frame had rendered my legs to just about useless. 

Lance said we were doing "a couple." In normal terms, that means 2. In CF terms, that can be translated to, "as many as we can do in the time that we have left....or until you drop dead. Whatever comes first, but really we are aiming for death."

Some other common phrases that can be translated:

Short Workout = Not nearly enough time to finish the crazy amount of things written on the white board

Light Weights = We tested the weight with the competitors of the World's Strongest Man Competition, and they had no problem lifting it.

Short Breaks = You've rested more than .0001 seconds. Get back to the workout!

Fun Workout = Zero Fun. 

I think the CF coaches sit around at night thinking of ways to build us up just so they can knock us flat on our butts and say, "Haha! Suckers! You fell for it again!!! Chalk another one up for the coaches!" 

Sadly, I know this, yet keep coming back for more.