Dear Food,
I feel I must inform you that our relationship has changed.
This might come as a shock to you; after all, I do consume you every day! But you are so complicated, so complex, so varied…that even though it is different, I think we can still have a spectacular relationship.
Surely you must have noticed that things are different between us. Like the fact that I have been avoiding your Sweet side. I noticed that your Sweet side wasn’t so sweet after all; it was kind of greedy actually. It wanted to take up more and more of my time with you and never did me favors in return.
Well, if you consider overindulgence and extra body fat a favor, I stand corrected.
Thankfully Fruit has been there holding my hand, and offering me what I need when I find my resolution faltering in Sweets’ presence. And Fruit has a genuine sweetness, whereas Sweets seem to be all fake and syrupy; it is something I never really noticed until I took a step back.
I have also, for the most part, stopped returning your calls when you call as Processed Carbs. That part of you is perhaps the worst, and is really the drug dealer of the whole bunch. It is always promising me a quick fix when hunger comes knocking. At the time, it is oh so good! But then comes the crash; and that is awful. That is when you try and manipulate me to come back for more and more…but it will never truly satisfy me will it?
So don’t try and tempt me with bread, it won’t work. And if you come in packaging, I probably won’t even notice you are there. So go ahead and crinkle your fancy, shiny wrappers all you want; and you can put away your cereal, crackers, popcorn, and chips. I won’t even blink and just keep on walking.
But please Food, as a favor to me for all of my years of loyalty, ask the Sweets and Processed Carbs to stop ganging up on me? It’s mean to wave a freshly baked cookie in my face. Stop trying to tempt me with carrot cake with the promise of “but carrot is a vegetable!” Yes, but if you were paying attention to me, you would know that carrots are on the unfavorable list in the zone diet! And you can tell them that they can stop hanging out with Dairy as well. Bullying me with Ice Cream is just torture…and that is uncool, Food. UN-cool.
I don’t want you to think it is all bad, though. For instance, I have rediscovered my relationship with Vegetables. They have really always been there for me, but when my mom was forcing me to be friends with them growing up, I didn’t want to listen. That’s misguided youth for you, isn’t it?
Lettuce and Tomato have been especially steadfast and are the vigilantes of the group. For years they have been throwing themselves in the harmful path of buns on burgers, been the heart and soul of every salad and have been underappreciated as a garnish, when they really should have been stealing the show.
All Vegetables, not just Lettuce and Tomato, have really been wonderful. I now have a wonderful bond with Eggplant, Broccoli, Zucchini, Bell Peppers and so many others! They really are my new BFF’s and are always there to hold me back when I’ve been tempted by the lure of Processed Carbs.
My relationship with Chicken, Beef and Fish is still the same…we just see a little bit less of each other at each meal. But I suppose that is to be expected; I have new best friends in Vegetables, and Meat seems to understand. I also have a better relationship with Fats. I used to hang out with a whole bunch of them, but I think its better to leave that relationship to a small group, so I tend to only roll with Avocado, Almonds, Cashews and Olive Oil. They have always been my favorite anyway, so this works out for the best, I think.
I think most importantly, Food, is that the dynamic of our relationship has changed. You see; you no longer call the shots. I do. You no longer get to tell me when to eat because I do it before you yell at me. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve also been working out, so I feel like I can give Sweets and Carbs the one-two punch; so even though they are big bullies, you tell them to watch their backs. I have no problem just tossing them into the trashcan.
So you see Food, things have changed a bit - but I think I love you more than ever. I am much more excited about my meals than I was a few months ago. I think that defining our relationship and streamlining who I spent my time with (rather than gallivanting around with everyone) has made me really appreciate all of your good attributes. I’ve noticed I fight with you less often; I don’t count calories, obsess over or agonize about what to eat anymore. We’ve entered into a really comfortable, more honest, and I think healthier, place where you give me what I need and I appreciate you for what you are. It might seem a bit greedy from my end, but you’ve been in charge for twenty-six years, its my turn at the wheel.
And you know, Food? I like where we are and I believe we will be here for a while. I think that Humphrey Bogart put it best when he said “this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Sincerely,
Shannon
I feel I must inform you that our relationship has changed.
This might come as a shock to you; after all, I do consume you every day! But you are so complicated, so complex, so varied…that even though it is different, I think we can still have a spectacular relationship.
Surely you must have noticed that things are different between us. Like the fact that I have been avoiding your Sweet side. I noticed that your Sweet side wasn’t so sweet after all; it was kind of greedy actually. It wanted to take up more and more of my time with you and never did me favors in return.
Well, if you consider overindulgence and extra body fat a favor, I stand corrected.
Thankfully Fruit has been there holding my hand, and offering me what I need when I find my resolution faltering in Sweets’ presence. And Fruit has a genuine sweetness, whereas Sweets seem to be all fake and syrupy; it is something I never really noticed until I took a step back.
I have also, for the most part, stopped returning your calls when you call as Processed Carbs. That part of you is perhaps the worst, and is really the drug dealer of the whole bunch. It is always promising me a quick fix when hunger comes knocking. At the time, it is oh so good! But then comes the crash; and that is awful. That is when you try and manipulate me to come back for more and more…but it will never truly satisfy me will it?
So don’t try and tempt me with bread, it won’t work. And if you come in packaging, I probably won’t even notice you are there. So go ahead and crinkle your fancy, shiny wrappers all you want; and you can put away your cereal, crackers, popcorn, and chips. I won’t even blink and just keep on walking.
But please Food, as a favor to me for all of my years of loyalty, ask the Sweets and Processed Carbs to stop ganging up on me? It’s mean to wave a freshly baked cookie in my face. Stop trying to tempt me with carrot cake with the promise of “but carrot is a vegetable!” Yes, but if you were paying attention to me, you would know that carrots are on the unfavorable list in the zone diet! And you can tell them that they can stop hanging out with Dairy as well. Bullying me with Ice Cream is just torture…and that is uncool, Food. UN-cool.
I don’t want you to think it is all bad, though. For instance, I have rediscovered my relationship with Vegetables. They have really always been there for me, but when my mom was forcing me to be friends with them growing up, I didn’t want to listen. That’s misguided youth for you, isn’t it?
Lettuce and Tomato have been especially steadfast and are the vigilantes of the group. For years they have been throwing themselves in the harmful path of buns on burgers, been the heart and soul of every salad and have been underappreciated as a garnish, when they really should have been stealing the show.
All Vegetables, not just Lettuce and Tomato, have really been wonderful. I now have a wonderful bond with Eggplant, Broccoli, Zucchini, Bell Peppers and so many others! They really are my new BFF’s and are always there to hold me back when I’ve been tempted by the lure of Processed Carbs.
My relationship with Chicken, Beef and Fish is still the same…we just see a little bit less of each other at each meal. But I suppose that is to be expected; I have new best friends in Vegetables, and Meat seems to understand. I also have a better relationship with Fats. I used to hang out with a whole bunch of them, but I think its better to leave that relationship to a small group, so I tend to only roll with Avocado, Almonds, Cashews and Olive Oil. They have always been my favorite anyway, so this works out for the best, I think.
I think most importantly, Food, is that the dynamic of our relationship has changed. You see; you no longer call the shots. I do. You no longer get to tell me when to eat because I do it before you yell at me. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve also been working out, so I feel like I can give Sweets and Carbs the one-two punch; so even though they are big bullies, you tell them to watch their backs. I have no problem just tossing them into the trashcan.
So you see Food, things have changed a bit - but I think I love you more than ever. I am much more excited about my meals than I was a few months ago. I think that defining our relationship and streamlining who I spent my time with (rather than gallivanting around with everyone) has made me really appreciate all of your good attributes. I’ve noticed I fight with you less often; I don’t count calories, obsess over or agonize about what to eat anymore. We’ve entered into a really comfortable, more honest, and I think healthier, place where you give me what I need and I appreciate you for what you are. It might seem a bit greedy from my end, but you’ve been in charge for twenty-six years, its my turn at the wheel.
And you know, Food? I like where we are and I believe we will be here for a while. I think that Humphrey Bogart put it best when he said “this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Sincerely,
Shannon
Preach it, sista! My new BFF is slivered almonds and grape tomatoes.
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