Weary

I am spent.

My eyes are heavy, my brain is refusing to function, and everything I do is in done in a special sort of slow motion - I just don’t have the energy to pick-up the pace. My coworker caught me staring at a wall. Not because the wall was interesting; it is a white wall with no pictures. Not because there was something odd about the wall; it was just as boring as usual. And not even because I was thinking about something that needed a particular level of staring into space to really ponder its point. Nope. I was staring because my brain had checked out and my body didn’t have enough energy to stop it from happening.

My Brain: Umm…yeah. Soooo…I’ve been thinking, and I think I’m going to shut down now.
My Body: OK.
Brain: Well, aren’t you going to stop me?
Body: Stop. Don’t do it.
Brain: That wasn’t very convincing.
Body: Wasn’t it? Oh well.
Brain: Screw you. Here I go……
(crickets)

Despite my brain’s insistence on not working, I have somehow managed to come up with some theories as to why I feel so awesome:

· I am not getting enough sleep. I can’t get to sleep, then I am up sporadically during the night, then I get up early, then I do a whole day’s worth of, you know, daytime stuff, and then I go to bed and repeat. I am a broken record.

· I am overtraining. I don’t want to believe that, but I just read this article (

http://sportsmedicine.about.com/cs/overtraining/a/aa062499a.htm) about overtraining and I sort of fit that profile. But then, if you believe everything you read, I should really stop ignoring those emails telling me that I have won the British lottery. (Note to self: send England my bank account info ASAP…..) The overtraining might possibly be related to the second workout I do two-three times a week...maybe.

· I am a compulsive exerciser. I might actually believe this one a little bit. I read this article (

http://sportsmedicine.about.com/cs/eatingdisorders1/a/compulsive_ex.htm), and after reading the check points wondered who this Elizabeth Quinn was, how did I not notice her when she followed me around, and why did she think it was OK to print an article about me without my permission?

· I am letting my job get to me. The Man is getting me down.

· I am letting the economy get to me. (*kicking the dirt*) Stupid economy.

· I am trying to be too many things to too many people. I’ll spare you all of the hats I’ve been wearing lately but I know that I am doing too many things to be doing a great job at any one of them and I have sacrificed all of my free time in the process. Woe is me!

Now, I am not an expert, but I think one or two (or three or all six) of those points could possibly be to blame for my weariness. The sad thing is that I don’t really see how to remedy this particular situation any time soon.

Maybe I could stop exercising so much…(hahaha! I know! I couldn’t keep a straight face as I was typing it either!)

Oh, don’t worry. I am sure things will be better soon….I think.

*sigh* That’s simply as much conviction I can muster today.